I celebrated Christmas in a Meditation ceremony with a Peruvian healer, Gaspar. My intention was to recalibrate for the New Year. I plan on making 2017 incredible and wanted to release any blocks that may be limiting my potential.
Since I’ve started my Yoga journey, my relationship with my body and food has improved overall. However, old habits like compulsive eating still creep in. Around the holiday season it felt out of control. Although, I practice self-compassion, I’m not perfect and I still get frustrated with myself especially when I’m triggered with food.
Many of us have some sort of compulsive behavior. An act that distracts us from feeling uncomfortable emotions and sensations. It’s too hard to feel discomfort and be in our bodies so we try to escape or DISEMBODY. Whether that’s eating, drinking alcohol, shopping, work, sex, social media, tv, smoking, or even using other people, we’re seeking refuge from stressors in some sort of instant gratification that is outside ourselves.
The problem is that these behaviors don’t get to the root of the issue. So we keep repeating these habits. It can eventually become destructive, painful, and limiting. No matter how much we seek outside of ourselves, it will never be enough. No matter how many cookies we eat, it’ll never taste as good as the very first one.
So I turned to what I know works. Meditation. A practice that restores communication between the mind, body, and spirit. It brings us back to embodiment. We learn how to connect, dive, and get to the roots of what is triggering these compulsive behaviors so ultimately we can free ourselves from their limitations.
Leading up to the Meditation Ceremony, I noticed a common thread in what I was experiencing from the time I was on my Tulum Retreat until that very day. The clarity I was seeking was already there, on the tip of my nose. I just had to create space, get quiet, and inquire within.
The underlying message?
Separation = Conditional Love = Limitation = Suffering
How does this relate to my “blocks” that I was trying to remove?
My frustration with my compulsive behavior was creating a separation. Shaming “Bad Deirdra” who binges on Junk Food when no one is watching and loving “Good Deirdra” who does Yoga and eats Kale.
Only “Good Deirdra” is worthy of love. Therefore love becomes conditional.
When I limit love to myself (through judgment), I limit the ability I have to give love away. I have less to offer. I also “block” or limit love from coming into my life.
We’re back to separation and the whole cycle repeats itself.
Deirdra! All of her!
It doesn’t stop there.
Sometimes even my friends and family members suffer because I project my own judgments on them. Even people I don’t know suffer. People I cut off on the freeway because I’m in a hurry. “Ugh! What’s wrong with them for driving so slow!”
Boom! More Separation. More Suffering.
Jon Kabat-Zinn wrote a book, “Wherever You Go, There You Are.” You can’t escape yourself. His book teaches us the practice of Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life. This type of meditation is a practice that focuses simply on awareness without judgment. It is practiced in everyday activity such as reading a book, working, or having a conversation. It teaches us how to be fully present, embodied, and alive.
He goes on to state, “All the suffering, stress, and addiction comes from not realizing you already are what you are looking for.”
The Yoga Sutras (Philosophy of Yoga) refers to this as Avidya or ignorance. It is attributed to the root of all suffering. It’s the loss of our true self. The disconnection from our spirit. That we’ve forgotten who we really are. So resentment, guilt, anger, shame, and fear start to drive us towards seeking love outside of ourselves. We’ve become disconnected from our light. Our inner wisdom. Our higher self.
The truth is that Deirdra isn’t the behavior. She isn’t even her body.
The answer is simple, but goes deeper.
It can be scary to go deep within yourself for inquiry. It may feel easy to stay at the surface level. To meet up to society’s expectations of us like owning a home, having a family, being thin, etc. However, eventually, it becomes exhausting. The pressure of trying to be something that we really aren’t creates a ticking time bomb.
Do you think it’s easier to swim at the surface of the ocean or down deep below? I’m a diver. When I was getting certified I was afraid I wouldn’t pass the test because I wasn’t a “strong swimmer.” You have to be able to swim, but I was shocked at how much easier it was to swim below the surface. Diving is a little scary because it’s initially unknown territory. Eventually you experience the calmness and tranquility.
What I’ve learned this year, is that self-awareness is a process that requires compassionate curiosity and a sense of adventure.
We all have core desired feelings and needs. I teach this in my yoga classes, workshops, and retreats. They’re actually the same amongst us all. It’s one way in which we are the same. We just have different approaches to achieving them.
According to Tony Robbins, one of our core human needs is love. To give love, receive love, and I believe TO BE LOVE.
This is what we really are.
Meditation and Yoga are both spiritual practices that bring us back into alignment with our true self, that which is, LOVE.
When we embody love, we stay anchored in that truth no matter what life throws at us. A Mexican Proverb states, “They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.”
Embodying love is like carrying a seed of truth. This knowledge of Self-Love empowers us with abilities to blossom anywhere.
“True love has the power to heal and transform the situation around us and bring a deep meaning to our lives.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Real love understands our duality. That there is darkness and light. The sun and the moon. Man & Woman. Fear & Love. There is a necessity of both experiences for the evolution of our existence.
Marianne Williamson said, “Until we have seen someone’s darkness, we don’t really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone’s darkness, we don’t really know what love is.”
During our Retreat in Tulum, the Shaman who held space for our sweatlodge ceremony referred to this duality as “Matteo.” “Ay, Matteo, Matteo” she’d sing as she started to pray. Her beautiful words were so poetic, that I felt unconditional love beaming from everyone’s hearts in the Temezcal. Or It might have just been the steam from the hot “Abuelitas” otherwise known as the hot volcanic rocks.
The “blocks” I had that were driving me to soothe outside of myself were because I forgot this basic human need. Love. I am love. That includes the Deirdra that ate 4 tamales on Christmas Day, or the Deirdra that broke her diet on the night of the elections, and yes the Deirdra that does Yoga.
Unconditional love is a practice. As you can see, I’m not perfect. But I keep coming back to love. Every time I do I arrive with more awareness, unity, compassion, and freedom.
What I offer this year, 2017, is the opportunity to journey higher with me on this path to Self-Love, Freedom, & Fulfillment. We can start at the surface and move as slowly as you need to or dive deep right away. I’m there with you!
Yoga is a mindfulness and meditation practice. It’s changed my life! Find out how by watching my latest video on how I healed back pain, improved my posture, lowered my anxiety, and deepened my relationship with myself by listening! Click HERE.
I have drop in classes which are great to get your feet wet. Classes start January 9th.
Moore Dancing: Mondays 11am
La Dancefit: Mondays 5pm & Wednesdays 8am
If you’re looking for real transformation, join my upcoming 12 Week Dance & Yoga Program. We start January 30th with an online and live format available. Not only do you get physical workouts that are effective, fun, and uplifting. You also receive coaching and life hacks to create sustainability. Learn how to anchor into your own personalized self-care practices.
I learned from one of my teachers, Marc David, author of The Slow Down Diet, How we do food is how we do life. Healing our relationship with food is more powerful that we could even imagine. I know for me, I spend alot of time and energy around food. What to eat? When to eat? Is it bad? Was I bad? It goes on and on. What else could I do with that time and energy?
Healing this relationship takes time and it’s a process.
So that’s why I’ve committed to running 21 Day Challenges every month for the whole year of 2017!
I need this too because I can just as easily get discouraged and disconnected if I’m not perfect! Practice doesn’t make perfect. It makes Progress!!!
I believe in intuitive eating and listening to your body. However, if we’ve struggled all our lives with yo yo dieting, then listening to our bodies might as well be speaking a foreign language.
We have to train ourselves by setting up a foundation of healthy eating. Having a flexible plan without restriction. Having a discipline that promotes positive choices.
For those gained a little holiday bloat, perhaps 4-8 pounds, then 1-2 rounds of this challenge group will help you get back to where you were pre-holiday.
If you have more than, 8 pounds to lose or have struggled with yo yo dieting and sustainability than, I encourage you to hang with me for at least 3-6 months. It really takes time to change these habits. Give yourself the compassion, patience, and space to learn, anchor, and grow. There are discounts programs available too!
I myself am making a commitment to eat more plant based. I’m thrilled that there’s resources available for me through this program where I can ensure I’m meeting all my nutritional needs as I make this transition.
Love is about intimacy and connection with others! Oh yay! Now we’re talking my language. Stay posted on opportunities to play and socialize. More Retreats, Workshops, and Parties!!!
Mark Your Calendar for the following Events:
Sunday, January 22nd @ LA DANCEFIT
Utilize Yoga & Meditation techniques to get the most out of your dancing. Experience postures that improve your dancing such as opening up the hips, strengthening the core, and lengthening the spine. Learn proper self-care practices to protect your body from injury, restore hormonal balance, and reduce stress. Elevate your dance fitness experience by embodying more mindful movement.
Saturday, February 18th
11am- 8pm Partner Play Day
Hosted by Scott Paseltiner & Deirdra Martinez
We all want to feel more connected. It’s easy to get disconnected especially when you live in a busy city. So grab a partner and join us for an intimate festival of music, dance, and play! Acro-Yoga, Salsa, Yoga Booty Brunch, Zumba, Improv Games, and more!
Dance & Yoga Retreat!
Coming May 2017