Healing Our Relationship with Our Body so that we can Contribute More in Life!

When you feel your best it’s like anything is possible.  We’re living at a time where there is a lot of unrest and distress.  It is a calling to rise up to our potential and make a greater contribution in our society.

It’s really hard to do that though if we’re struggling in our relationship with our own body.  In good health, we are able to fulfill our unique life’s purpose.  It is this contribution that motivates us to self-care so that we are fit for the demands of life and can continue to serve at our best.

In my early 30s, I was fixated on counting calories, meal prepping, and exercising as the means to achieving a beautiful body.  At the time, a physique with flat abs and a toned booty meant happiness.  I hadn’t really thought about a bigger purpose other than keeping a roof over my head and maybe having a boyfriend.

As I start to approach my 40s, I realize that my time and energy is valuable.  There were a few unhealthy rituals that I was attached to that were limiting my potential and harming my relationship with my body.  These were rituals that I once thought were helping me.

It turns out that they were not only sabotaging my weight loss, but also limiting my potential in other areas of my life.

  1. Weigh yourself daily.  That was something I used to do all the time as part of my morning ritual. I’d get up, get on the scale. The numbers dictated how I felt about myself and treated myself.  Unhappy with the numbers?  Scold myself and restrict my diet even more.  I let it control my whole day.
  2. Size yourself up in front of the mirror. After I got off the scale, I’d go to the mirror, look at my body, and criticize it. I’d look at my belly.  Is it flat or bloated?  Then my thighs.  Can I see cellulite?  I was constantly judging myself.  If I didn’t like what I saw, I’d again scold myself and look for clothes that would hide my body.
  3. Eat in a hurry. I used to eat fast because I was anxious about my diet.  I’d experience shame because I’d overeat or I’d “cheat” on my diet.  Eating fast was like pretending it never happened.  I’d quickly nibble in front of the fridge thinking no one would see me.  Except my inner critic was very present.  In the middle of my eating frenzy, I’d criticize myself with shame.  I knew better…. “What you eat in private….you wear in public.”  More guilt, more Doritos, and more stretchy pants.

These bad habits stem from the belief that being hard on ourselves or beating up on ourselves is going keep us in check.

We may believe that restricting ourselves with dieting and pushing ourselves with intense exercise is going to discipline us into finally being perfect.

Maybe what we think is perfect is really a reflection of our own insecurity?  

I had been looking externally for a source of motivation, confidence, and security.  A perfect solution that would fix everything…..forever!

I used to think….

“If I just weighed 130 pounds then I’d be happy.”

“If my belly was flat, I’d be sexy and desired.”

“If I could eat like a normal person, my life would be perfect.”

I hated on myself for not fitting that idea of perfection.  The constant criticism extended beyond the scale, mirror, and dinner plate.

What I know now…..

That’s all BS.

Beating myself up was causing a serious mental and emotional disconnection to my physical body.

I didn’t really know what would make me authentically happy and I was too scared to just be myself…..without the diet…..in my own skin…..raw….real.  Perfectly imperfect.

I was insecure.  I didn’t know my own value and worth.  So I judged myself constantly and looked outside myself for validation.

The problem is we’re relying on external sources to validate our worth.     

The numbers on a scale…

Our body image…

A trendy diet……

It’s all just noise and distraction.

We’re creating a dependency.  Almost like an addiction.

I remember freaking out at the idea of not weighing myself everyday.  It was like trying to take away Cocaine from an addict. I was so scared that I would gain a ton of weight. BUT, the real fear was that if I got fat……I would be unloveable.

The addiction, or attachment to the scale, was feeding a need for love and validation.  If I weighed between 130-135……I am worthy of love.

My clients tend to approach me with a number as well.  I always ask….. “WHY THAT NUMBER?”

It really is just a number that can change at any moment.  In fact, it changes throughout the day.  Do we really want to attach our happiness to something so superficial?

It’s been almost 2 years since I quit the daily weigh in addiction.  What that did for my psyche was re-establish FAITH in myself.

SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-EFFICACY, & SELF-ESTEEM   

I gave myself permission to trust myself and be authentic.  Radical Self-Love.  Even if I wasn’t perfect….I was going to love myself anyway!

I’ve maintained a healthy weight ever since.  What’s even more amazing is all the emotional weight and mental stress I dropped by letting go of that freaking scale!   Talk about LIBERATION!?

I firmly believe that is how I even attracted my soul mate and created a business I love.

FAITH and LOVE are of the highest vibration.  Doors and opportunities open when we follow our bliss…..not when we’re chained to a scale.  Feeling confident in my skin empowered me to explore my desires and discover my greater purpose.

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT……BUT IT IS YOUR JOURNEY & RESPONSIBILITY TO TRANSFORM.  

There’s pressure to “Keep up with the Joneses.” The people on TV or in magazines always seem to have everything. They look perfect, slim, and sexy all while drinking margaritas on the beach in a bikini.

A big problem is that we’re influenced over 200 times a day about our diet and body image.

We’re getting subliminal messages all the time about how we should look and what we should eat. We may not realize it, but it’s affecting us emotionally, mentally, and physically.

The messages are confusing.

Be skinny and yet there is a fast food restaurant on every corner?!

Diet but yet there’s nothing but food porn on tv?!

On top of that, we’re also influenced by our family and friends. A lot of us who have body image issues can trace it back to our relationships with our mothers. They may have criticized our bodies, tried to put us on a diet, or on the other end of the spectrum used food as love.  Perhaps they themselves had eating or body issues as well, so we learned from their modeling.

All of this creates so much tension, pressure, and stress that our bodies begin to react.

Weight gain, back pain, depression, constipation, belly fat, and emotional eating are symptoms of chronic stress.  The result of disembodiment.  The disconnection between mind, body, and spirit.  What happens when we’re too much in our heads.  Overthinking.  Over criticizing.

Yet, it’s when we feel this level of discomfort that we pay attention to our bodies and then become motivated to change.

 We’ve been programmed by our external environment to believe that we have to look a certain way or weigh a certain amount to be worthy.  When we don’t meet up to those standards, we disembody with quick superficial fixes.

Disembodiment is a disconnection from our inner wisdom.  That internal compass that intuitively knows what to eat to sustain a natural healthy body throughout our lifetime.  

The transformation is in the INNER WORK.  

“Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?”

It’s crossed everyone’s mind even beyond our time.  It’s in our nature to find meaning.  An explanation.

The answers come from EXPERIENCE & EXPLANATION.

We may EXPERIENCE discomfort in our bodies.  “I feel fat.”

We may think we are our bodies.  “I am fat.”  Then the EXPLANATIONS start to filter in usually in the form of judgement.

We identify with our bodies the way we identify with things: a pet, a car…and we think those things add value to us. But they don’t. It’s not who we really are.

The EGO is what’s creating this suffering because it’s attaching to that identity. The EGO is that inner voice I mentioned at the beginning.  It’s there because of how we’ve been programmed from the time we’re children into our adulthood. The EGO creates stories to try and make meaning. We mistake it for our reality.

THAT’S BAD PROGRAMMING!

We must change our programming especially if we are to align with our purpose.

This destructive programming can make us stuck.  Feeling insecure in our bodies and unclear in our purpose can be terribly uncomfortable because we are uncertain about the outcome.  So we take action based on fear and we resort to something like dieting just to be doing something.

The truth is that we are valuable even in our moments of self-doubt.  It’s the darkness before the light.  When we free ourselves from restriction (such as when we extreme diet) then we have more energy to discovery and fulfill our higher calling.

TIME IS ONE OF THE MOST VALUABLE GIFTS WE HAVE ON THIS PLANET.

It’s where our human experience occurs.

THE PRESENT MOMENT

Our society pressures us to have the explanation without the experience.

So we avoid being in the present moment by constantly striving, judging, or ruminating on the past.  What we’re actually doing is stripping ourselves of value.

We over consume to try and fill that void.  It’s really a spiritual hunger that cannot be satisfied from the external.  It’s a craving to go inward and reconnect the mind, body, and spirit.

Our TRUTH lies within.
Beyond the numbers on a scale, image in a mirror, or trendy diet.

The solution lies in CONNECTION.  MINDFULNESS.  CONSCIOUSNESS.  MEDITATION.  YOGA.

Being with and accepting ourselves where we are is so powerful.

Here’s why: If you talk to someone in a way that’s judgemental and demeaning, how are they going to respond to you?

Our bodies are no different. When we don’t accept our bodies for where they are in our lives, it creates a lot of disconnection and isolation.

Being able to accept yourself can go a long way toward reconnecting the mind and body. It allows you to show up with yourself for yourself so you can take care of yourself.

I’ve found that my health journey shines the way to my purpose in life because my body is  highly intuitive. When I listen, it gives me signals that I’m moving in the right direction.

Healing our relationship with our body will upgrade our entire human experience as well as positively influence everyone else around us.

Do you need support to shift out of unhealthy habits and reconnect your mind, body, and spirit so that you fully thrive?

I’m running a 7 Day Self-Care Challenge September 18-24th with daily Mindfulness & Meditation to help you connect with that inner wisdom.  Learn how to anchor into authentic self-care so that you develop intrinsic motivation that is sustainable.  CLICK HERE TO JOIN

I also have a free online training where I dive a little deeper into the five shifts that can help you move out of yo-yo dieting and into creating a dream body that you can sustain! CLICK HERE TO WATCH

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