Are You Resisting Your Own Success?

My dad and I were taking a nice walk in Santa Monica to have dinner at Herringbone on Ocean Ave. They have an awesome Oyster Happy Hour and we’re both Oyster lovers! Along the way, we passed so many new condos that seemed to glitter with the sunset. It slipped out of my mouth, “It’s crazy how much they cost. I’ll never be able to afford one of those.”

Who said that?

It must have been me because my dad quickly gave me the eye. “Don’t say that!” He said, “Of course you can. You just have to start taking the steps to make it happen.”

I did say it.

It’s true what he said. My dad has always been someone that has inspired me. He’s rebuilt his entire life after losing everything.   He had a plan and executed it.

I was in shock by the words that came out of my mouth. I’ve studied personal empowerment and development for a while now and I know how limiting of a statement that was. I knew better. I wanted to take it back but it was to late.

Deep down inside, there is still a belief that I am not worthy of that condo on the beach or I’m not capable of financial freedom.

I’m not beating myself up here. I recognize I’ve come along way in shifting my perception and I believe that’s why I’ve been able to accomplish all that I have already. I love and am grateful for my Santa Monica bungalow, I love my career, I love my relationships, and I love my life overall.

However, I know there’s more I’m capable of. There’s more that my heart desires. I have more potential.

That conversation was a catalyst. I started to make the connections.

Whether it’s managing my budget or following a meal plan, I struggle with commitment and discipline.

It’s how I continue to sabotage my own success.

RESISTANCE

“I don’t want to track my dollars or calories,” “It takes too much time meal prepping,” “I don’t know anything about budgeting,” “I always fail.” “It’s not a good time right now,” “It’s just to hard,” “I am scared I’ll fail again.”

Those words have all crossed my mind.

They’re all EXCUSES. Limitations.

The EGO trying to protect us from failure, discomfort, shame, guilt, ridicule, etc. It’s a defense mechanism we’ve adopted from our past experiences where we felt unsafe to be ourselves.

The problem is that if we attach ourselves to these limiting beliefs then they do dictate our lives. We end up stuck in our own suffering. Unable to move forward.

Of course I’ll never get that beautiful Santa Monica Condo on Ocean Ave. Not with that negative attitude! There’s no motivation to even take action. Why would I if I don’t believe in myself?

So what if I don’t get that Condo? It’s not a big deal right? I still have a nice house that I’m comfortable with.

Whatever!

It’s not about the Condo. It’s about the Core Belief.

FEAR

If it’s not the condo, then the limiting core belief of fear will show up in another area of my life. Every time I want lose weight, move my career forward, save up for something like a home, or find a partner.

SABOTAGE

How do you make it stop?!

First of all, chill out! We’re human. We’re perfectly imperfect.   This is going to take practice. Give yourself that permission to fall and stumble. Then get back up and keep moving forward with more insight.

People like my father, yogis, and other business leaders in my industry all share similar commonalities when it comes to success. It’s also part of the business model I use in my health & wealth coaching program.

DECIDE, COMMIT, SUCCEED

  1. DECIDE

Get clear on what you want. Sometimes this can be tough if you have a history of being shut down, criticized, or judged by people around you. Don’t give up your power.

What I like to do is get away! Go on a retreat and relax so that I can connect with my heart. I disconnect from distraction, pressure, and the daily grind. Instead, I can focus on connecting with my higher self. The self that wants the best for me. That believes in me.  I am redirected to LOVE rather than FEAR.

This is also about taking personal responsibility. You decide your destiny.

When you have clarity on what you want, it’s easier to put together an action plan.

  1. COMMIT

Success is the result of consistent action over time. It takes discipline, structure, and an action plan. As much as I resist it, following a plan is empowering for me. Whether it’s my meals, my budget, or my business having structure actually makes me feel more secure.   I worry less and can spend more time on moving closer to my goals.

I’m currently doing the 21 Day Fix with a support group because I started to notice my self-sabotaging habits around food starting to creep up again. With the holidays coming, I don’t want it to get any worse. I love the flexible structure as it’s making me aware of my eating habits without limiting my food options. Yesterday when I wanted to snack on something in the middle of the day, I realized I wasn’t really hungry and I’d rather save my “calories” for a nice dinner with my boyfriend. I felt empowered by this choice.

Commitment is simply a PRACTICE of discipline. We know discipline is challenging because our lives are so dynamic. Breaking old sabotaging patterns isn’t easy. Every challenge is a test. So we’re not going to be perfect. It’s going to be hard at first, but we keep practicing and moving forward.

Careful with over commitment. This is another form of self-sabotage. Start with one thing at a time.   Personally, I start with my health first. In my experience, when my health is in tip top shape, then everything else falls into place.

  1. SUCCEED

Everything is a choice. How we choose to think, feel, behave, speak, etc. It’s one of the greatest gifts and freedoms we have. It’s how we practice our power. We have to have a “winning” mindset. If we already believe we’re successful, then we “act as if.” We attract success faster because we embody it by our choices.

Spend time with other successful people. We need the inspiration and mentorship of others who have walked the same path we’re trying to pave forward.

Be open to new ideas of success.  We can limit ourselves if we think success is having a certain body weight, number in the bank account, marital status, or credit score.  Start seeing more success in your life overall with every single small action step you take.  Celebrate it in the present rather than in the future.

 

With the New Year quickly approaching, I’ve already started to evaluate my life. I’m looking forward to my retreat to Tulum Mexico December 8-11 because I know that will be the perfect opportunity for me to relax, dive deeper and get clearer.  Just what I need as I’m planning to make 2017 the most uplifting year ever.  To learn more about our retreats or support groups, email me at deirdra@theupliftmovement.org.

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